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ometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will-power or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happen by chance or by means of good luck, illness, injury, love, lost-moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road, yet safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet affect your life in various ways. The success and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences to learn from. In fact, they are probably the most affecting and important ones.
The ten tips below came from a collective experience of many newly disabled persons in similar situations. These common experiences depict their hard, slow work, efforts and tolerance to regain their mobility. They will help you understand what might be happening in your mind, body and social life, moving you along the road to living normally with your disability as soon as possible.
When a person is newly disabled by accident, illness or genetics, a host of physical, emotional and social changes present themselves. Most of these changes are things no one can truly prepare for. There are suddenly no usual routines, no guidelines in how to proceed with success.
Newly disabled people can feel frightened, abandoned and without direction as pain and loss often dominate their recovery. These feelings can derail further growth and progress into a new, functional and successful life.
It is my hope that the following tips will help you see your justifiable feelings, new experiences and the situations that can arise from sudden disability. Being unable to do all the things you could before your disability, see yourself differently able to do whatever you can dream.
1. Expect an emotional reaction at your change…
Expect an emotional reaction at your change in status from an “able” person to a “disabled person”. Anger, frustration and resentment are common feelings when abilities are taken away. Use the energy of these emotions to transform the negative to positive and get active in powering forward your recovery effort. If you find you can't get past the worst of the negative emotions, don't hesitate to avail yourself of counseling, stress reduction methods or other help, whatever available.
Expect others to react differently to you than they did before the onset of your disability. Most of the time people want to say and do the right thing, but our society does not prepare us adequately to handle the trauma of another's disability. Reach out to your family, friends and acquaintances and encourage them to treat you as normally as they did before the onset of your disability.
Expect changes in your energy level and the way your body and mind work together. Things that have been easy suddenly become difficult to impossible to accomplish. Give yourself lots of time to re-adjust to the new status and don't do anything before you are ready. Despite how you might feel, this is no time to be a solitary person. Avail yourself of all the support you can get. Think and plan beforehand, what creative ways can you adopt to accomplish the same goals differently and if possible, independently?
Aid your success in dealing with bureaucracy by keeping meticulous records of each contact with the agency or individual and reminding them of your needs and their agency's commitment to you. Remember: the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Make a firm but polite pest of yourself and you will be served correctly, more of the time.
Some newly disabled people lose their jobs. If you are still able to do the work for which you were hired, it is illegal for your employer to fire you. You have rights under the constitution - get to know what they are and use them. Take this opportunity to educate your workplace on the subject of disabilities, and yours in particular.
Most disabled people find zakat and pension checks little enough to pay their bills and rent. You will have to generate secondary sources of income and be creative about doing it. What skills or talents do you have that can be used in new ways? Coaching or career counseling in the field you are experienced can often help broaden the range of options available to you.
As a newly disabled person, you may find yourself busy with offers for work-at-home schemes which may or may not deal with you honestly. Some of these schemes can be profitable for the dedicated workers, while others are directly dishonest and fraudulent. Protect yourself by checking out any potential employer for longevity in the workplace and worker satisfaction. Talk to others who have worked there six months or more about their experience with that particular employer.
8. You may need a care team…
Depending on the severity of your disability, you may need a care team. This team should ideally consist of people who are favorably disposed towards you to begin with, such as family members and willing friends. If you must hire someone to care for you, check into their background as thoroughly as possible. Often the disabled are taken advantage of by dishonest care staff.
When you are given the “gift of a disability”, it does not diminish you as much as you might initially think. When one door closes, many others are opened. A blind man's sense of hearing sharpens to hear a pin drop 100 meters away; a quadriplegic develops extraordinary sensitivity in his/her facial skin that enables him/her to "feel" colors. See the opportunities that are available to you now that you could never see as a more able person. The world is waiting and the possibilities are limitless.
While you may never have a new pair of kidneys or be able to re-grow a limb you have lost, almost everything you dreamed of doing before your disability can still be possible. You just may have to modify quite a bit to achieve it. Don't let anything stand in your way and don't fall prey to blaming and self-pity. You are the only person who can get you out from the depths of despair to all the success you want in life. Good Luck! qq (By ajmalbeig ajmalbeig@gmail.com)
You are the only person who can get you out from the depths of despair to all the success you want in life. Don't let anything stand in your way and don't fall prey to blaming and self-pity. “Gift of Disability” does not diminish you as much as you might initially think. Society does not prepare us adequately to handle the trauma of another's disability. 
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